Tuesday, April 5, 2011- Redpath

1:19- "BAHHHH, HEY GUYS WELCOME TO MONTREAL. GAHHHHHH"

1:22- grandma in kilt in lineup to the left; land lord 13.0 in line for a quick snack 

1:25- caf employee gets bored and begins flirting with short indian manager 

1:28- "that fucking burns, eh?" "then he peed on it"

1:30- research about yamakas commences 

1:36- chino approaches right cash... straight east LA

1:39- alpaca wool sweater stands up and blocks view of all other in the caf 

1:40- friend of alpaca wool leaves empty table and comments on amount of conversation had this lunch hour 

1:46- short indian manager takes control of line that is approximately the length of the great wall of china

1:47 - "Weirdest fucking place ever..." - 4 foot 9 dude in suspenders, a ponytail and bifocals 

1:49 - PDA on couches outside fishbowl - on a scale of 1 (holding hands) to 10 (public intercourse) this is approaching a 9... 

1:50 - father christmas/old man river passes by fishbowl, probably on his way to a fishing trip... 

Or the morgue 

1:51 - blind captain jack sparrow strolls/feels his way by  (this probably shouldn't be published) 

1:52 - "come to class lauren" (too bad lauren is too busy molesting her boyfriend on the couch) 

1:53 - father/professor christmas 2.0 

1:54 - ...finds his mrs. claus

1:55 - ginger dreads; most annoying people ever walk by 

1:56 - jeans and running shoes (#1 fashion faux pas on the planet)

1:57 - hickey king; shortest man alive with the biggest backpack in the world 

1:58 - PDA/rape outside book counter

2:02 - first PDA couple leaves couch; SINGING GUY

2:04 - SINGING GUY again (lost...?)

2:06 - P's chaotic/lost/chill?? roommate cruises by 

Monday, April 4, 2011- (Evening) Second Cup on Milton

9:59- police leave from party outside second cup two by two 

10:05- captain still looking for the ship 

10:07- man with flowy hair walks by with two jumbo boxes of corn flakes; 40-year-old returns to second cup for more video games 

10:11- "allo??, allo??, allo?? alsdjfalksjdflakfd... ALLOOOOO?"

10:12- phone rings again and foreign speak continues 

10:18- oaf in puffy brown coat trips over chair in attempt to sit down and makes suggestive face at girl sitting across from him 

10:20- oaf starts dancing 

10:27- oaf chews on shirt and continues swaying 

10:47- girls that appear to be friends with oaf are having very intense conversation about a friend who is apparently not to be trusted 

10:48- hungry lit major chews on headphones 

10:55- oaf leaves laptop at table and disappears from the premises 

11:04- oaf returns reeking of smoke and the gossip sesh continues 

11:09- death threats made towards "adam"

11:16- destructo twin #1 stops by for a visit (this time he leaves without dismantling the establishment) 

11:17- gossip girls complaining about creepy guy that was "starring at us the other day"

11:24- man with plaid hat and plaid pj pants walks by 

11:26- gossip girl in red sweater complains about the limits her mother has placed on her for decorating her room. who doesn't love floral print wallpaper?

11:30- friends storm out of second cup leaving oaf to shake his head with disapproval/confusion; song consisting of lyrics: "uh uh uh uh need some monayy" plays in the background  

11:36- frantic looking hooded hipster runs by 

Monday, April 4, 2011- Prince Arthur

1:47- kid on bike drives into parked cargo van. realizes we've seen his error and attempts to laugh along. however, recovery is impossible and he bikes on with a slightly bruised ego...

Sunday, April 3, 2011- (Evening) Second Cup on Milton

9:37- girl sitting in cushy couch spills coffee all over her belongings as well as the feet of the man sitting across from her (they appear to be strangers) 

9:38- man working at second cup comes over to site of the spill and begins mopping up the mess 

9:39- the mess has been cleaned; crisis averted 

10:03- guy walks by with a 6 foot fro 

10:08- mercedes begins the impossible task of leaving their parking spot with 2 cm of excess space in the front and back  

10:09- mercedes has not attempted to make a move; man sitting in cushy chair enjoys his tiny container of jam (being eaten with a fork)  

10:10- after 12 point turn mercedes successfully drives away; squidward 2.0 passes by 

10:13- girl with ugly fur jacket screams across table to her friend who is eating a bagel- "you wrote to me and said 'toasted'"

10:16- yellow squid hat from redpath earlier on today walks home 

10:20- small asian man jumps up to be at eye level with his server

10:21- dumpee returns to second cup 

10:23- ns having frantic conversation about life as a clown  

10:26- b.o. wafts through second cup. likely candidate= dumpee 

10:27- man in cushy chair doing literally nothing- he wins award for laziest second cup patron ever 

10:29- a mildly attractive male mcgill student (a rare find) leaning casually against counter; super hipster male mcgill student (not a rare find) walks to bathroom 

10:31- very skinny, tufty eared man wearing socks and sandals approaches counter  

10:46- laziest patron ever has fallen asleep- "this is not a motel"

19:51- chaos with the bright pink "caution wet floor" sign commences 

10:53- the sign attacks same kid as before and second cup employee moves sign to behind counter 

10:55- he rises from slumber 

11:00- destructo twins rearranging the store

11:01- v's girlfriend comes to second cup. possibly meeting v to patch things up?

11:05- v walks into joint with a lovely vest; approaches table and poses in a feminine stance whilst searching for girlfriend 

Sunday, April 3, 2011- Redpath

3:25- g steps out of cybertech to take a sip of coke beside garbage can 

3:30- raging lunatic (see left) finds spot against the wall to sit at 

3:32- raging lunatic stands up and yells fuck fuck fuck into his phone 

3:37- raging lunatic returns to seat still swearing into his phone 

3:38- g returns to garbage can for another swig 

Saturday, April 2, 2011- Second Cup on Milton

4:52- man inside second cup leaves restaurant to eat a sandwich with his friend across the street

5:15- friend of man (keeper of the sandwiches) finds a woman friend

5:30- man with REALLY short shorts walks by 

5:32- woman parks a mile away from curb (aka leaves car in the middle of the road) 

5:33- woman still parking; annoying lit major comes into second cup 

5:36- homeless man (dumpee) walks through the middle of intersection 

5:41- scary looking man storms by window holding fireworks 

5:50- serious skateboarding crew passes by; m looking fancy walks by with friends 

6:02- two americans in strange pj pants walk back to where they came from 

6:11- SINGING GUY WALKS BY!!

6:15- guy on bike scares approximately 7 pigeons into the sky, he then ducks to avoid hitting his head on the rising birds 

6:22- "...and this guy's drinking a beer" 

6:52- downstairs neighbour returns from trip to the grocery store